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I have been married for ten years now. And I can not believe how different weddings are since then. Honestly. I mean, the elements are the same – flowers, invitations, photographer, dress, bridal party…. But the way everything is presented is different. And I don’t think it is just because styles have changed. I honestly think post modernism, and our societal mindset has a lot to do with it.
EVERYTHING is customized. And personalized. And specific to each bridal party. I obviously do not object to this too much – I run my business around making something unique every time. But, I think it ought to impact a bride’s decision to pick a vendor more than it does.
I think there are some questions that brides do not realize they could be asking, or ought to be asking to get the best use out of their vendors.
1. Ask a vendor you trust: ”Who do you recommend?” Do not be shy, and do not assume a bridal shop does not know any limo services. They can let you know who will provide the best service. The wedding industry looks different on this side of the fence. Much smaller. I used to think a drive to London was a day trip – now I have it in my head that the vendors I meet regularly service all of South Western Ontario. You would be surprised I think, as a bride, to know how many of us either know your other vendors, or at the very least have heard of them or about them. This is good for you though. The best example of this is asking your photographer which d.j. they would suggest. Just think, the photographers have been to wedding, after wedding, after wedding. And they know who you want to party with.
2. Ask: “Is this socially acceptable?” Obviously, it is your wedding day. BUT, be willing to give and take a little bit. Sometimes the decisions brides make are something I think may offend their guests. And can be done in a more subtle or diplomatic way. Be willing to ask your vendor if there is another way to get your desired results, without being offensive or tacky. Because, I know you do not want to be offensive or tacky.
3. Ask: “Is this portfolio indicative of what you love to do?” You’re trying to pick a florist. Or a decorator. Or a photographer. And you’re thumbing through their albums, and something catches your eye. Or, you bring in an idea from a magazine, and you ask the vendor to recreate it. Now, your reasons for picking your vendor are multitudinous. Budget plays a part, recommendations play a part, chemistry with them plays a part. BUT, if you expect them to recreate something they are not passionate about, you will not get the same out of them. I am not saying your vendor does not work as hard as they can for each and every bride. I am saying that they may go above and beyond for you if they are EXCITED to work with you. My example is not wedding related, but it is client/vendor related – I got an incredible tattoo on my arm because the artist got carried away with my idea, and free handed what should have been a three hour sitting and turned it into six and a half hours. Because she loved the concept. It feels less like work if we enjoy what we are doing – and we enjoy what we are doing when we get excited about your concepts.
4. Ask: “Describe yourself and your work in three words.” Cliche? Maybe a little. And it sounds like a job interview. It is. The more you can relate to your vendor before the big day, the smoother things will go. You are paying for a service. But you are essentially hiring the person behind it. If you picked your decorator based on a few pics online, but they describe themselves as modern, fresh and bold; when you want soft, elegant and romantic – you may not have a perfect fit. AGAIN, it is not that they can not carry out your vision. Hiring a competent vendor means they can carry out a range of ideas and concepts. But this ties in with the last point. A vendor that is excited about your vision and naturally falls in with it is always a better choice.
5. Ask: “Do you love what you do?” There are a lot of passionate vendors, who go above and beyond what you ask of them. Because they are passionate about their jobs. You want these people to work with you. Maryanne is the first person who comes to mind. As a bridal shop owner she is wonderful. As a wedding planner, she is exceptional. Because your vision is important. Because she wants you to celebrate a flawless I do. Because she loves weddings. It makes a difference. I have a bride right now walking away from her photography deposit because she knew after their engagement session that the photog simply did not want to be there that day. And the resulting images reflected that.
6. Ask: “How many pictures will I get back?” NOOOOOO. This is an interesting one. You want to be sure your photographer snaps a picture of everything important to you. All of it. You do not want them to miss a single moment. You hope that somehow you can control this outcome, by making sure they take thousands of images. But, it is a little bit like comparing a fancy french restaurant with the Golden Corral. Quantity DOES NOT guarantee quality. You have to pick your photographer carefully. And then you have to trust in their abilities. Getting back 900 images should not be your measuring stick for how well your photographer can perform. Any more than knowing you will walk away from an all-you-can-eat buffet full guarantees the food was fabulous. Ten years out, I can promise you, I would rather 40 stunning images than 600 average ones. Give your photographer a bit of a break on this one. Let them take the time to set up that epic shot. You will not regret it.
I love, love, love the wedding industry. I love the people I work with. I love being involved in assisting photographers when I can. I love helping decorate a hall. I love the idea of being there the day-of, helping coordinate. And, I just want you, as a bride, to be able to get as much out of the vendors you choose as you possibly can.
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3 Comments so far
Nicole this is a wonderful post. You have really nailed down the wedding industry that is for sure. As a photographer I love what you wrote in number 6
and wished more and more brides would look at the photographers images and not at the pricing. This is a very special day for the bride and groom and should be captured by a professional and not by Uncle Joe with a camera. One other thing I would add to it would be to make sure you have a connection with your photographer and that you can have fun with him/her on your wedding day. This is very important as you will be spending more time with them than most of your guests on your special day 
Thanks for your thoughts John! I’ll probably do a separate one just for photogs later… we’ll see. Yes, there absolutely needs to be a connection with you guys – it is incredible how much of the day the bride spends with their photographer.
Nic, totally agree with you on this stuff. I wish I had thought about some of these things more when I got married. You mentioned that it’s a smaller industry on the inside… makes me think of The Wedding Singer… Drew get’s way better service because her wedding singer knows where to send her… makes sense to me